Locust Liberation FrontPosted: May 20, 2013
Its known amongst friends that Boy is saving for Dog. That Dad does not want Dog so is doing everything in his power to put Boy in situations where he is tempted to spend his savings which now amount to £260! A shortfall of only £140 from Dog! So when Boy said he wanted a camera (The result of Boys mate having a camera) I obliged and quickly whisked him and Wife down to Currys to choose a camera.
BLAST those pet superstores – One has opened up right next to the Currys. Boy seeing dog posters charged in completely ignoring my “Cameras this way boy” shout at the space he’d just vacated. Wife and me charged in afterwards. I did notice she was slower that me. Think wife has agenda of her own which possibly involves Dog………
Inside the store Boy and me sparred, My oration was clear and precise:
Dad can I have a Rat – NO
Dad can I have a Rabbit – NO
Dad can I have a Hampster – NO
Dad can I have a Lizard – Ohhhh……NO
Dad can I have a Snake – Where are they, Oh there, I like that one……..NO
Boy eyes downcast. “Lets go to the Camera shop shall we, you can have a camera”
Dad can I have these? They’re only £1.00. He handed me a clear plastic box.
Looking into the box I nearly said Yes out of pity. The reptile food boxes full of locusts, bugs and worms were stacked on top of each other. With SALE type reductions. Wifes mouth agog we looked at each other. We had the same lumps in our throats. Boy wanted to make reptiles food his Pet. Wanted to save their lives. It was heartbreaking…… A tear nearly came to my eye as I whispered “No Boy” Hand on his shoulder I led him from the shop.
The camera out of our minds we propelled Boy next door into the toy shop where the Locusts flew from Boys mind and an Iron Man 3 blaster flew into his hands. A whole £10 was knocked off the dog fund. Everyone was happy, except the Locusts……
On the way home Wife and I both voiced our desire to free the locusts, to stick one to the man, we formed the Locust Liberation Front of Friern Barnet and imagined what the store manager would say. How the police would arrive at our door and cart us away but then how the population of North London would rise up, our lawyer and banker friends would hold the country to ransom and we along with our locust friends would be free…. In our minds made promises that we would be back, no locust would be left behind.
Back at home Wife gave boy his pocket money for the week which amounted to nearly £5 when his chores payment was calculated. Only £5 knocked off the dog fund today…..I’m not winning this one: I can see where this is going to end…..
More about Locusts here