On Friday night Boy was away so Wife and I got out playing cards, a bottle of plonk and sat down to take advantage of the following mornings lay-in. Two games of canasta and another half bottle of plonk we were ready to crash. About midnight walking down our hallway half asleep and tipsy I spotted fluffy growths on a light shade. Curious I stopped and pulled the shade down and found further furry growths in a few corners of the shade this time a dark yellow colour. I put the shade on the kitchen table too tipsy and tired to do anything with it and sloped off to bed.
The growths came to bed with me: They stayed in my mind merging with a poster from the film “The BLOB” that I’d seen on the outside of the Phoenix Cinema in East Finchley earlier that day.
The nightmare found me just before morning, so at 6:30 I was wide awake and wondering where I’d even got the idea that my body was being taken over by a fluffy alien invader! Thinking it was all a dream I rushed to the kitchen only to find the shade sitting on the kitchen table avec fluffy alien invaders.
Wife woke up, found me away and joined me in the kitchen where I showed the growths to her.
Sensible wife: “You mended that lightshade last month didn’t you?” The lightbulb went on in my mind as Wife walking back to bed called ” You can put it back up Simon, there isn’t another life form trying to take over unless pipe cleaners have developed intelligence and are looking to take over the world one light shade at a time”.
Wife can be brutal. Last month I hit the shade and it broke. I used pipe cleaners from Boys art box to mend it. I totally forgot. Wife didn’t.
As I hung the shade back up I mused on the possibility that if they did come to life I as their creator would be their supreme commander…. Get Wife I ordered… alas….no magic occurred… they were just pipe cleaners..